Growth is painful. Change is painful.But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.
There’s no need in your voice
anymore, no longing or missing
when we spend time apart; this
was the first thing I noticed. You
get up for a glass of water and
don’t think to ask if I’m thirsty
too, you forget I’m behind you
and I have to catch the door as
it closes on me. These are tiny
things, but they’re all part of the
same problem: your veins used
to be so full of me that you saw
my face even when we weren’t
together, but lately you’ve been
forgetting I’m there when
we’re in the same room.
you know when you try to keep yourself from sounding disappointed and then your voice does the wobbly thing and fuCK
So I just had the shit creeped out of me.
I’m not someone who believes in ghosts, but I was sitting in my room, alone and in the dark, and I heard the strings of my violin being softly plucked.
My violin is hanging on the wall several feet away.
So I gathered my courage, grabbed my phone, and used the camera light to investigate.
And found this.
A goddamn spider was playing my violin. Not even joking. The little shit.
I think I’d have preferred a ghost….
You liked me mild and more timid;
the kind of person who said yes
too quickly. I woke up one morning
and realized I deserved good things
and started asking for them too. I’m
loving myself more now, but you
wish I’d go back to believing I was
less than what I am so you could
continue treating me poorly.
You’re so careful not to touch
me now - not my heart, not my
skin, not my hope. When we
talk I can read the silent rejection
letters: Dear Miss, we regret to
inform you that your affection
cannot be accepted at this time.
Maybe you think you’re being
kind by not leading me on, but
our friendship was built on caring
for each other long before I had
feelings for you, so while you’re
trying to push me away as a
crush, you’re also pushing me
away as a friend.